I have drunk a thousand beers. A thousand beers have been drunk by me. Since I started keeping track in 2014, my drinking has encompassed a thousand beers. “The Man Who Has Drunk a Thousand Beers” is what they call me in fashionable quarters; some ruffians in low spots prefer …
Recently, I was listening to the latest episode of Hold My Order, Terrible Dresser, one of my all-time favorite podcasts. Although the week’s guests were not familiar to me, I was delighted, as both a drunk and a huge RPG nerd, to learn that one of them manages a pub in …
The results, so far, of the latest ‘season’ of my long-running fantasy wrestling league. Enjoy, nobody! INTERNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING 2017 EVENT SCHEDULE Season 57: Colluctatio Ergo Sum Friday Night Fights I: Sic Infit [So It Begins] Friday, Jan. 6th, 5:00am CST; Ariake Coliseum, Tokyo, Japan (All-Japan) All-Japan Light Heavyweight Qualifier: …
Spring is in the air, and a young man’s heart turns to thoughts of love. I am not a young man, however, so while the rest of you are out enjoying sunshine and greenery and doing your grotesque courting rituals, I am inside basking in the warming glow of a …
With some things, you have to learn by either seeing it or participating in it. And you know yourselves that there are people walking around your community today that have all types of degrees that should be at this meeting, but are not here. Right? Because you can have as …
OLD TIME RADIO FAVORITES Where Creeps the Shuffler! From the Casebook of Kidneypunch O’Sullivan Oh, Those Bulczywyczs! The Aaron’s Basinet Polish and Badney’s Consumption Grease Old-Time Variety Hunker-Down Hour Around-the-Barn News Farmer Seth’s Country Comedy Chiaroscuro Li’l’ Jinx and the Hard Luck Soup Kitchen Kids Trag McCrunley, Wharf Detective Weepie & …
Apparently there is much angst in the funny pages these days about the status of “Millennials”. This is apparently a generation that happened when no one was looking, and it is a subject of some controversy whether this generation is the worst of all generations to have ever existed, or …
Hi there! I’m Jesse Popinski, better known as Uncle Hi-Finance. You may know me from HGTV’s Money Hole, the Anything You Can Do I Can Do Richer pamphlet series, and my best-selling satellite radio show, Uncle Hi-Finance’s Tax Shelter Hour. Thanks for tuning in to my podcast, which will appear on your credit …
Greetings, extraterrestrial visitors! Ever since our own American astronauts, Lt. Chup Munnler and Captain E.G. “Spurts” Grandango, made contact with the people of Proxima Centauri VII eighteen years ago, Earth has become a popular tourist destination for visitors from every quadrant of our galactic sector. We’re pleased to welcome our …
And so it was jail again: he could tell, before he had sight, from the smell. Shit and piss and standing water and stale-peach body funk. He clenched his eyelids against torch-light and let his mind wander along his body: his jaw was fat and sore, his lower back had …
FROM: Flavros, Great Duke of Hell TO: Mammon, Prince of Hell RE: Children’s Wing Hey, Manny — Sorry to interrupt you on your vacation. I hear Florida is really nice this time of year; here’s hoping you get a chance to stop in on Merihem at Wet ‘n’ Wild. I …
From ZedCo, makers of such fine online entertainment products as Rotisserie League War Crimes Tribunal™ and FoodWasters Extravaganza™, comes the kind of experience that can not only transform the way we play games online, but the way we live. StockBlock™ is the new gaming system that allows everyone to take …
The fucking city man was going to get it, he’d been asking for it all night and he was goddamned well going to get it all right. He thought that Brog Bingand was stupid but he was the stupid one because he was goddamned well going to find out what …
Crime is no laughing matter, unless you’re a clown robbing a toy store. But sometimes, scanning the police logs and crime reports from San Antonio and other nearby law enforcement agencies, the curious blend of absurdity, wrongdoing, and straight-faced journalistic argot makes for an odd read. Just because I don’t …
Thanks for tagging along with me on this tour of the Seattle Pinball Museum! You all have been a great group, and it’s been a real treat strolling through the history of the silver ball with you. We’ve seen some of the all-time classic machines during our walk, but before …
