The Doctor is Out

Anyone with a pair of testicles can be a man.  And it’s always possible to receive a field promotion to captain, however little time you may have actually served in the military.  It thus falls to “doctor” to be the most unearned title in the world of super-humans.  While lesser …

Earth on the Menu

Greetings, extraterrestrial visitors! Ever since our own American astronauts, Lt. Chup Munnler and Captain E.G. “Spurts” Grandango, made contact with the people of Proxima Centauri VII eighteen years ago, Earth has become a popular tourist destination for visitors from every quadrant of our galactic sector.  We’re pleased to welcome our …

Fun in Games

It’s the dog days of August, when baseball teams are either in the head of a pennant race or sweating it out in meaningless late-season games after falling out of contention.  Basketball and hockey are over, football seems like a cold, distant winter mirage, and Americans still don’t give a …

Burrito Economics

The minimum wage went up in San Francisco and, blaming the cost of doing business, the overrated burrito hucksters at Chipotle hiked up their prices. Predictably, conservatives popped their collective gaskets, and everyone on the right started screaming “ENJOY THE BITTER FRUITS OF YOUR COMMUNIST WEALTH REDISTRIBUTION, LIBTARDS”, as if …

Four Colors to Infinity: Taco Drone Edition

In a recent review of Ernest Cline’s new novel, Armada — the poorly received follow-up to his hugely successful ’80s geek-culture wallow Ready Player One — io9’s Germain Lussier makes the curious claim that it is “an ultra-nerdy book, but at times, it feels like it doesn’t trust the reader.”  Replace …