We should have seen it coming. This was our livelihood, after all; we were the artists of commerce, creatives in the world of the merely productive. We worked with words and ideas the way our clients worked with industrial chemicals and institutional foodstuffs. We lived for le mot juste, and we …
When little Charlie was six years old, he broke one of his mother’s favorite bone china plates. Charlie hid the broken plate from his mother, because he knew that she would be very cross. (Charlie’s mother was a brittle, unloving old New Englander with the short temper and cold demeanor …
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This is a ripe one, I think to myself as he crosses the floor. Sixteen if he’s a day and he’s got that topper out of a coal chute. He’s wearing it like it makes him look like a lord. Whatever it takes for the fare, I think, trying not …
“Harrison! So good to see you.” “My name is Tonondah Inok.” “Ton…what is it again?” “Tonondah Inok.” “Tonomah…you know, that’s just not going to work for me, Harrison.” “In your language it means Red Wolf.” “That’s a name for a dog, not a man. What’s wrong with Harrison? It’s a …
“For goodness’ sake, will they hear? Will white people hear what we are trying to say? Please! All we are asking you to do is to recognize that we are humans, too.” (Desmond Tutu) In difficult economic times such as the sort the whole world has struggled through since 2008, …
“Thanks for coming in to see us today, Rich.” “Dick.” “What?” “I go by Dick.” “Oh! Ha ha. Okay, sorry, Dick. That’s one of the reasons we call people in…the preliminary screenings don’t really tell us anything. We kind of want to get to know the real you. So, you …
“The goal here will be a pincers movement, coming down from the north with the Fifth Army and circling to the rear, and moving up and over from the south by Belgrade with the Ninth, so we’ll eventually encircle the whole territory. Now, if all goes well, we should have …
BILL: Okay, listen to this. BACON: Hit me. BILL: “But soft, what light…” BACON: Wait, what? Butt soft? Who’s he talking about? BILL: Juliet. BACON: He’s talking about how her butt is soft? What kind of shit is that? They’re never gonna let you say that. BILL: No, no, “but soft”. Like, …
Hey there, Nuremburg High class of 1919! Can it really be twenty years since we happy kampfers spent our final years as Fightin’ Teutons? Can it really be two decades since we welcomed home our fathers and older brothers and their remainig limbs from the final war Germany will ever …
“Sound off! What’s your name, asswipe?” “Uh…Alan Corwin.” “Bullshit! I can’t hear you, asswipe! Speak up like when you tell your girlfriend to tug on it! What’s your name, asswipe?” “Corwin. Alan Corwin. I’m from Document Control.” “Document Control? Is that what they’re calling it now? Bullshit! You’re a fucking file …
Dear Mrs. Oguntade, It was with joy and, I must admit, some degree of surprise that I received your e-mail of the 15th entitled “RE save our soul”. The joy, as you might imagine, stemmed from your generous though slightly bewildering offer to remit to me the kingly sum of USD$111,600,443 …
Jan 14 – The syndicate has picked up Rick Ratso! I finally made it, baby. All the effort has been worth it. I want to celebrate, but there’s already no time — I’ve got to turn in the first 2 weeks of strips by next Wednesday. Jan 29 – Good …
I sometimes think of it like he’s from a different planet. Every time he talks about how persecuted the rich are, or how feminism is turning our kids into homosexuals, or how my “people” wouldn’t understand this or that because we aren’t really part of the great Western tradition, I pretend …
It has been sportswriting law since 1992 that any article dealing with women in baseball must quote that line from A League of Their Own, and I have never been one to swim against the tide. (Though, of course, it was written by someone who’s clearly never spent any time inside …
