“Hello, DynoTech Solutions, can I help you?”
“Yes, I’m calling about a problem I’m having with my external hard drive.”
“Can I put you on hold for just a moment?”
“Sure.”
” … ”
“Uh…hello?”
“Yes, sir?”
“Are you there?”
“Yes, sir, can I help you?”
“Yeah, I was calling about my hard drive, and…”
“Yes, sir. I wanted to know if I could put you on hold.”
“Oh. Oh. Okay, sure.”
“Okay, thank you. It’ll be just a moment.”
“Great.”
” … ”
“Um…”
“Sir?”
“Did you…I thought you were going to put me on hold.”
“I did.”
“Um.”
“It’ll just be a moment, sir, until our technician is off of another call.”
“Well, it’s just…”
“I promise it won’t be more than two minutes.”
“It’s just that…I wasn’t on hold. I could hear you. I could hear your keyboard and things.”
“Oh. Well, I mean, but you’re waiting.”
“But…I mean, I wasn’t really on hold.”
“You were waiting. That’s what on hold means.”
“But, well, don’t you have a hold button or something?”
“Sure. I don’t use it sometimes, though.”
“I…I see.”
“If you really want me to put you on hold, so you can listen to our corporate theme music periodically interrupted by pitches to buy more DynoTech products, I can do that.”
“Well, when you say it that way, it sounds stupid. But there’s just something unsettling about being on hold and not really being on hold.”
“Look, sir, ‘on hold’ is not a real place. It’s…it’s sort of a mindstate.”
“I understand.”
“It’s not like I’m cheating you out of anything.”
“No, no, I know.”
“It’s the same wait time one way or another.”
“It just takes some getting used to. It’s not…I don’t want to say disturbing, but…it just feels wrong. To me.”
“I’d be happy to activate the wait button if that would ease your mind.”
“Could you, please?”
“Of course.”
“I know it’s irrational. It’s just…”
“I understand, sir. I make no judgments. I’m a professional.”
“It would mean a lot.”
“Certainly, sir. Please hold.”
” … ”
“Sir?”
“I…yes?”
“This is Alex. I’m your DynoTech service contract technician. How can I help you today?”
“What?”
“What was your problem, or question? That you were calling about?”
“I don’t…I can’t remem…I…”
“Can’t remember?”
“This must sound so foolish, but…”
“You want me to put you back on hold?”
“Please. I’m very sorry about this.”
“Think nothing of it, sir. Happens all the time.”