Hello! My name is Jimmy. I used to be new in the neighborhood too, and it can be kind of scary. Will you be my friend? It’s good to have FRIENDS. I made a new friend when I moved here, and he helped me get used to things, so it …
“So…will I see you back there?” I’ve only heard this question about a million times, but my smile doesn’t crack for a second. I can feel the way my lips pull away from my teeth, the lipstick catching just a little bit. I learned that trick on the pageant circuit. …
Dog Boy Jenkins, having known for quite some time that he didn’t like the idea of spending his whole life working, didn’t do anything about it until the day after his 33rd birthday. His co-workers had thrown him a big party the night before (like most people, Dog Boy’s friends …
The year was 1952. America was in the throes of a post-war boom, with all that entailed: a surging economy, the rosy afterglow of a massive communal effort and the subsequent decline in political unrest, and a still-tangible sense of national unity. But this warmth and prosperity came with a …
Recently, a number of seemingly unconnected cultural conversations took place which seemed to me to have a common thread running through them. While I don’t necessarily think they add up to any grand indictment of the Way We Live Today (I’m always distrustful of anyone who cherry-picks a few isolated …
So swollen with contempt and pride is our current political body that it is fairly assured, if the Democrats pointed out that the sun rises in the east, the Republicans would instantly counter that it actually rises in the West, and accuse the left of Chinese Communist sympathies for their …
Beloved comrades! It is both our honor and our privilege to announce to you that today, Korean Worker’s Party Day, the results of Democratic People’s Republic of North Korea Entertainment and Cultural Whatnots Weekly magazine’s annual People’s Choice Awards poll are to be announced! Yes, for the 29th year, you, …
“Hello?” “Is this Wanda?” “Yeah…who’s calling?” “This is Andy!” “Uh…” “You remember! Andy! From high school!” “I’m afraid I don’t…oh, wait a minute.” “See, you remember!” “Oh, my God!” “Uh huh!” “Oh, my God. I remember you and Marty Leffler stole that garbage truck from the city vehicle impound lot…” …
Of the 100 films that have made the most money in the United States over the last decade – almost all of which have made more than $200 million — the protagonists and their primary relationships are as follows. – A young wizard and his magical friends (x6). – A …
I first got into it when I was in third grade. There was this one older kid, Paulie Troward, who would always get the merry-go-round spinning really fast and then push me off of it. Once I landed on my back? And it knocked all the wind out of me? …
Superman! Superior man! A man who’s better than the other men If you are a man and you think you’re great, you might be right But you’re definitely not as good as Super Man! Batman! Man of bats! A man who is dressed like a bat and that makes him …
I know it’s hard. I know how hard it is. And I know how easy it would be not to try, because that’s the way the world is built: for you not to try. For you to give up. The world will always give you a million reasons not to …
“Fred, you have to believe, we want to help you.” “That’s what you keep telling me.” “The Army, if nothing else, takes care of its own.” “That’s what you say. I say they’re sticking me with a head-shrinker because I’m a problem they don’t want to deal with.” “Fred, don’t …
Dear Mr. Pierce, This letter is to inform you that you must immediately cease & desist all production on your musical theater project, Tracksuit American. This so-called ‘musical comedy revue’ infringes on a number of Burger King Holdings, Inc.’s registered trademarks, which are fully protected under United States intellectual property …
Coming this fall from FOX — the smallest reality show ever will also be the biggest! From the producers of Zero-Sum Dating, Slut-Shame Mansion and World’s Most Abusive Husbands comes the series that everyone said we couldn’t do. Too daring, said the suits. Too risky, said the censors. Too clearly …
