It was bound to happen: the Sandwich Century project has run head-on into the grim reality of living in San Antonio. Oh, sure, we’re a 21st-century burg, and we have our share of Asians contending for their share of the Frito pie while Germans and Mexicans fight it out for …
They thought they could kill us. The Sick Man of Internet, they called us. Yes, here they came to kill the PetardCast, but we ain’t gonna die! After a month of recovery from an illness so grave that it actually killed people who only had to hear about it, the …
This joke has been cribbed about a million times recently, but I originally wrote it — with some assists from Angie Epley (center square) and Whitney Pastorek (B-6) — in 2007, so I’m claiming credit for the original idea. Plus, mine is funnier. Prove me wrong, internet. It’s time once …
It is a sign of the confidence — indeed, the audaciousness — of the current conservative movement that they are making real headway in an attempt to strangle the union movement, already gravely wounded, once and for all. It was Reagan who dealt the unions their first critical blow beginning …
A new month is come again, and that can only mean one thing: obsessive-compulsive replacement of various social media icons. No, wait, it means two things! It also means that Meetup.com, which I signed up for in far more optimistic times, will be sending me a list of activities it …
It’s probably unfair to say that the public had fallen out of love with Bogart and Bacall by the time 1947’s Dark Passage rolled around. (They certainly hadn’t fallen out of love with one another, despite the 25-year difference in their ages.) But they’d gone from The Big Sleep, one …
As I’ve mentioned before, as a living, functioning human with working taste buds, I prefer sugary soda, but as a crypto-diabetic man-bear, I mostly confine myself to diet. However, since the introduction of lo-cal pop, folks in both the amateur and professional theaters of Carbin-Nation have been trying to game …
Desperate times call for desperate actions, and desperate people, apparently, call for desperate sandwiches. While cheapness and ease of assembly are a big part of the appeal of the sandwich, they’re qualities it’s altogether too easy to overdo, and you end up with something that sullies the entire notion of …
Humans are the only animals that can make metaphors or moral judgments. Unfortunately, we make far too few of the former and far too many of the latter. The appealing thing about placing social problems in a moral context is that it allows you to start ignoring the problem; if …
I have never been particularly fond of Tennessee Williams. Part of this may be because I’m not his intended audience, but with very few exceptions (I enjoy A Streetcar Named Desire), I find his stuff a little, well, airy for my taste. Reading his plays and novels, and comparing them …
Contrary to all the negative press he’s gotten the last week or so, Charlie Sheen makes perfect sense. All he needs is the right editor. MAGGOT HANDLE This contaminated little maggot Can’t handle my power And can’t handle the truth. FIRED KITTEN Pussy He’s not allowed to quit So …
I want to like Stephen King. I really, really do. He’s undeniably an important writer, at least insofar as he’s written a ton of books that have sold enormously well, and become virtually synonymous with “contemporary American novelist”. He’s managed to remain successful even in a terrible downtime for fiction, …
(In ‘honor’ of the upcoming and sure-to-be-hilarious big-screen adaptation of Atlas Shrugged, I present some ballast from the past in the form of this Rand-Chandler mash-up. Enjoy.) Mrs. Roark’s house was outsized and showy, like you’d figure an architect’s house would be. It wasn’t even a house, really; it was …
You can often tell more about a political movement by the things they choose to remain silent about than the things about which they speak out. In the last election, it was telling that the latter-day Birchers known as the Tea Party movement were instrumental in defeating Proposition 19, a …
Joseph H. Lewis’ reputation was built on his ability to create surprisingly artful films out of extremely base material, transforming ultra-low budgets and relatively unknown casts into movies that, if they weren’t cinematic classics, were at least far better than they had any right to be. Responsible for two of …
